Consensual Financial Blackmail is not funny. Well, not for you it isn't

But then again you already understand that don't you? I can make your life so difficult. I can make you wish that you had never signed my blackmail contract in the first place. There are so many social media options available to the scheming, conniving, Mistress who has been scorned and disobeyed by her blackmail bitch. I will take out a full page add in your local press with money that you have sent me.

Think very carefully before you enter into an agreement with me. Remember, I am not playing around. I am serious. If you want to play little mind game fantasies, then head over to my sponsors page and search through the links for someone who will pander to your infantile desires.

If you decide that consensual blackmail is for you, pay your £30 tribute, complete the 'Blackmail Application' and return it to me quickly. Make sure that you have read the Disclaimer before you email it back to me bitch, because once I have it in my posession you are screwed.

If I accept your application,I will contact you and we will discuss the terms. Once those terms are agreed, you are mine to command.

You will do my bidding or suffer the consequences.

I will expect you to hold up your end of the agreement regardless of the tasks that I set you and if I don't get my proof on time, you are for the high jump.

The minimum tribute to keep me quiet is £100 per month, so do your sums before you make your contract with me.

If you get nervous and want to back out, the buy out fee is another £100 in tributes.

If you fail my tasks or do not prove them on time you will get penalty fees thrown at you just to make things more difficult.

Are you sure you want this?